You Could Do Much Better

As the topic of love & marriage rolls around during a family reunion, at which I happened to be the only male amongst female cousins and aunts, I could not help but wonder what it means when they say "you could do much better" than Prospect X.

Which brings up the question: What makes someone a "good" prospect? What are certain features of a prospect that are desirable? Are preferences for a prospect to be this way or that cultural, i.e. why are those features emphasized?

One thing is for sure: unless you're an orphan or someone with an incredibly strong sense of individualism, marriage is a family ordeal. When choosing a prospect, you cannot only think about yourself and your own preferences. Sure, you'll be the one actually living with whoever you end up marrying, but the process of getting married (i.e. the marriage ceremony) as well as the regular family reunions and interactions that will happen through the duration of marriage is heavily family-oriented (unless your family/relatives are completely aloof from one another and dysfunctional). For there to be peace between future spouse and family is a priority that should be considered in one's consideration of a prospect. Not the only priority, but a priority nonetheless.

I used to think that "natural" love (i.e. people who meet on their own) was somehow superior to "unnatural" love (i.e. people who end up meeting through pairing/matching by family or friends, i.e. through an intervention). But now I am starting to realize that in "unnatural" love there is value in that the prospects come pre-approved by a friend or family member, so that the worry of that prospect not getting along with your circle of friends/family is dissolved even before you meet with that prospect.

All this to say, I am still too young to obsessed over this and still have much to prepare personally. There's also too much going on in the next year and too much uncertainty and transition ahead to settle into anything right now, not to mention the lack of any serious prospects out here in landlocked STL, which is why I continue to hope for the best as I look to the east or to the west on one of the coasts.