Every single opportunity that I have had with a prospective lady friend has ended hopelessly due to poor timing, one of them on my part (for becoming a rebound person from the lady friend's bad breakup) but most of them due to circumstances beyond my control (moved/transferred right when I was about to make the move or irreconcilable age differences).
People around me keep discouraging me from being "on the hunt", as that will only delay what should come more naturally and when you're least suspecting it, that I'm bordering being desperate. Sure I will readily admit I idolize being in a relationship (GASP, big surprise) and sometimes it's unhealthy, but at the same time I know that simply waiting around won't win any hearts, and that, especially as a guy, I need to take some initiative and need to at least be watchful for opportunities that arise.
I've also realized that I've been naive in thinking that simply moving to a bigger, more diverse city will open up opportunities for me to meet single/available ladies. Sure, the opportunities are there but it's up to the person to do something about them. If I can't even do that in a medium-sized city like St. Louis, how do I expect to do it in a bigger city like Chicago, New York, D.C., etc? It's going to be even more overwhelming... And really, it boils down to what social networks you have and which ones you decide to tap into, be it a community based on ethnicity, religion, politics, common interests, etc.
So in the next several months (Nov-Mar) my schedule opens up a bit. The timing is right for me personally to open myself up to meeting the single/available ladies out there and practice putting myself out there more. As I stated previously, too many times I have been burned or burned myself for having the wrong timing for these things and I want to make that trend stop. We'll see what happens, but seriously, the off-timing has to stop. I am sick and tired of it.
Oh, and I decided that med students are seriously at the bottom of the rung in the hospital setting and that I have no chance with any of the workers there, e.g. nurses. Not until I'm a resident anyway.
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1 comment:
more than the size of the city, i think that putting yourself out there or making your intentions known will make a difference. something that a lot of guys seem to do is try to befriend girls they may be potentially interested in. i think that makes meeting girls in a romantic way harder. if you get put in the 'friend zone' it's pretty hard to get out.
this is pretty funny theory about being friends with the opposite sex. http://www.laddertheory.com/
something other people seem to be mentioning to you is that because you are always thinking about relationships, you don't let anything develop naturally. i'm not sure if this is true for you, but something that could be a problem is that if a girl senses that you just want to be in a relationship, rather than wanting to be in a relationship with her specifically, they could find dating you less appealing.
also, i'm not sure if this advice is warranted or not, but i think you should just go out on a couple of dates with girls, even if you aren't especially interested in them. i think being more comfortable with that type of relationship will make you put less pressure on yourself and help you not "put the pussy on a pedestal."
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