It's hard to believe the first 2 months (yes, MONTHS!) of 2009 have almost already passed. While most of my new years resolutions have already been broken, one still remains unbroken, i.e. I don't think I've blogged about singleness/finding the "one"/seeming desperate in that area.
I guess it's time to break that one too.
Just wanted to put up the recent realization that: As much as I hope that one day I will have the sense of intimacy/security that comes with mutual affection & unconditional love in the form of a committed relationship (i.e. marriage), I am at ease with where I am right now (being single).
What is starting to bother me (more so than the fact of being single and not having what I described above) is the feeling of being left behind. As friends who used to be single
succumb move on to the "pairing up" phase of their life, part of me feels left behind in the island of "singledom" while they venture out into a whole new landscape of "pairdom." I'm happy for them, but a selfish part of me wishes they were still with me where I am. Perhaps if I lived where more people stay on Single Island longer and have fun doing it (i.e. either of the Coasts and larger cities), I would not really be aware of this "left behind" feeling. But my current city (medium sized, Midwestern) and social circle within school/church (with ratio of married/engaged friends : single friends being relatively high) predispose me to these thoughts.
It's definitely a sign that a different chapter has opened in my mid-20s. As with the struggles (and triumphs?) of singleness, I'm sure I will learn to get used to this new feeling of being left behind.
(P.S. - And no, I don't watch Lost and am not using island references from that show. It's just the one of the first metaphors that came to mind - the other metaphor being missing the train/bus).
No comments:
Post a Comment